Before anyone says this, let me make it clear

"If I had personal trainers kicking my butt around and making me exercise and making me lose weight, I could do it too."

No. Wrong. Try again.

I will be the first to admit that when I weighed 400 pounds and saw people like Oprah on television with her personal trainer and her personal chef, I thought, "Oh, sure. If I had someone to cook for me and controlled what I ate and someone to force me to work out I could drop weight and get into shape, no problem."

If this were true, with all of Oprah's bucks, more than a billion I've heard, why does she still struggle with her weight? Last year she came out in an article in "O" magazine confessing she had put on 40 pounds in a year. Why? Because she slacked off and didn't do the work.

With all of her money and resources, she blew it. She fell off the wagon. She probably went home after work and ate fried chicken and vegged out. She probably looked into her fully equipped, state-of-the-art home gym...and shut the door. She probably made excuses to her trainer, broke workout appointments and told herself she was too busy.

Oprah and I aren't so different at all on this one. Well, my state-of-the-art gym is at the Y. (Oprah's is probably still better.)

Working at the clinic and having Chris and Steve to help me is a wonderful thing. (Don't quote me on this, I'm still high on pain killers from yesterday.) Support from friends, family and followers is so encouraging and helpful but the fact is, none of this can make me do anything I don't want to do. This is true for everyone.

Even those people on The Biggest Loser are still doing the work, themselves. I'll admit, having Jillian raggin' on you until you hurl and then kicking your unconscious carcass back onto the treadmill might be motivational...for awhile, but if any of those contestants ever decided to tell her to piss off and proceeded to eat her for a snack, there would not be much she could do about it.

All of Chris' yelling at me won't help me shed a single pound if I don't do what he's yelling at me to do. It's not like Steve is under me moving my legs for me on the eliptical while I snarf down Nutter Butters and file my nails.

I had lost 100 pounds before Chris saw me on the KARE11 Extra and then I proceeded to blow him off in e-mail for five months as he persistently invited me for exercise testing and training at the clinic. I thought, "Who is this clown? Does he not get it? I don't want to work out. I walk 3-4 times a week. That's enough."

I finally went to the clinic to meet with him just to shut him up. Unfortunately, that never worked. He's even more persistent and opinionated in person. The point is, he didn't make me come in, even with his relentless requests. I decided to go.

Pardon me as I tap dance on my soap box, but I'm saying this for myself, more than anyone reading. Here's what I know: If you can feed yourself and move your own body, you can do what I've done. You do not need anything special to start, except the desire to do it. If you don't have that, no amount of money, support or resources can get you there.

I've always looked for excuses about why the weight I carried wasn't my fault or why it wasn't my responsibility but the cold, painful, flabby, lumpy truth of the matter is that I got myself into that mess. All by myself.

I will get myself out, the same way, with the choices and decisions I make.