my homework

Today was a new day. I was in the clinic and I ate well and drank water. I'm preparing to work out shortly and Chris has given me a homework assignment. I have to identify for him all the possible ways I can exercise in and around my home.

This may not sound like a difficult task but you don't know Chris. He makes me flip picnic tables at the park. In fact, you would be surprised at how many exercises can be done with picnic tables. My advice? Avoid working out with Chris at the park altogether. He thinks jumping over snakes slithering across the walking path is a legitimate form of exercise. I think it's a lot of screaming and hysteria immediately followed by a heart attack. Once I recover from the heart attack, I usually smack him on the arm and swear. Yeah, he makes me swear. A lot. Don't worry, it only makes him smile.

We have a twisted relationship.

Anyway, he's given me an assignment after my bad day yesterday. Let's just say he was not happy about my responses to stress. Remember when I told you I would get a lecture? I did. Then he pointed out to me that on my timeframe, my goal is ambitious, so I really don't have the luxury of any bad days. Average days, yes, but no bad days. Good grief I'm going to need benzodiazapines to survive this. Don't fret, he would never approve of me working out under the influence of diazepam. Party pooper! It has my name in it! How bad could it be?

This is going to be difficult. This is going to suck.

My assignment: After identifying several exercises I can do in and around my house with my own personal equipment I have to come up with a 30 minute circuit that I'm supposed to do in the morning to rev up my metabolism. Do you think he means every morning?

I have a treadmill, a Bowflex (which serves beautifully as a coat rack), some dumbells and a couple of balance/exercise balls. I might have some resistance bands around here too. I also have a flight of stairs, a park with a walking path across the street and a small hill on my property. After I lost the first 100 pounds I celebrated with friends by rolling down the hill on my side like I did when I was a kid. I'm not sure which was worse, that there was photographic evidence taken of the event or that it felt like I had broken every bone in my body when I reached the bottom.

I have also been tasked with finding the user manual for the coat rac...Bowflex and bring it to him. This is not a big deal. I know right where it is. I use it as a coaster for my coffee cup in the morning.

Giving him that manual could be a big mistake.

Well, I guess I'll let you know how it goes and what I come up with.

Thanks for reading. Spread the word. If I get 100,000 of you to read this blog I can earn like a dollar. I could use the dollar.