onelilblogger

September 1st will mark the 4th anniversary of my attempt to half myself and lose 200 pounds. I'm not sure which hurts more, admitting that I used to weigh 400 pounds or admitting that after 4 years I still haven't hit my goal.

I don't like unfinished projects.

A lot of changes have taken place in the past 4 years, almost all of them have been life-altering. Let's face it, starting at 400 pounds, being able to tie your own shoes for the first time in a decade becomes a major accomplishment (worthy of being featured on regional and national television, apparently). I wonder if the state fair still has a side show. Look! I can tie my own damned shoes again!

Some not so great things have happened along the way too, and most of them resulted in losing my confidence, losing my footing and losing my voice. (You may notice I didn't mention losing more weight.)

I have tremendous gratitude for those who have stuck with me through all of the ups and downs of this lesson. Despite everything that has happened, my life has improved immeasurably. Looking back, I have to say, I wouldn't change...much.

To say I tend to learn things the hard way may be putting it gently, so racing to the finish line really wouldn't be my style anyway. When I cross the finish line, I'll probably look like I took a long detour through a couple of really rough neighborhoods, but I will cross it.

Truth be known, I won't mind if there isn't a single fan to cheer me nor a single camera to capture the moment when I do, because this victory won't be measured in pounds shed, inches lost or calories counted. For me it will be measured in permanent changes made, obstacles overcome and tears shed. And it will feel great.

I have a new goal.

I have a new timeframe.

I have a new voice.

And this is where you can hear it, if you're so inclined. Welcome.