Houston, We Have a Problem

I got an email from someone today who pointed out to me that I'm a failure.  I haven't reached my goal yet, haven't written my book yet, I blew it.  These critics seem to be coming out of the woodwork, lately, to let me know I've let them down.

I wish I could say this is a big shock, but it's not.  I have always known there were people out there who thought I was failing (because they like to write me and tell me so) and those out there who just flat out wanted me to fail.

What do I think of this?  Simple.  The way you view any given situation is likely a direct reflection of how your own situation unfolds.  I know this from my own personal experience.  At the times I've struggled the most, I've been viewing myself (and everything around me) negatively.  It's not an easy rut to get out of, I'll admit.  

When you assume you will choke, you usually do.  How many times do you hear the gold medal winner in the post-event interview saying, "Wow.  I never thought I'd get here.  I really didn't think I could do this.  I thought my competitors were all so much better than me and it's a complete shock that I won.  Not in my wildest dreams did I think I could accomplish this."  

Never.

Am I supposed to apologize for struggling?   For setbacks?  For lessons learned the hard way?  Don't hold your breath.  I never set out on this journey to become a television celebrity or even a famous author.  This was a journey of personal self-discovery and an attempt to recover the ability to live my life like a "normal" person.  

I do know one thing, when you focus on what you don't have, haven't accomplished, can't seem to do, you highlight what you lack in your experience.  If I've learned nothing else, I've learned that much.

I guess it's a good thing the crew of Apollo 13 didn't accept taking up residence on the moon as the only possible outcome of the mission, or Tom Hanks wouldn't have been able to star in the movie! 

That's how I feel about the spectators and critics.  I'm on the mission while they are waiting for the movie version to come out.

So, this to the critics and nay-sayers:  You can sit and wait.  As long as it takes.  This journey is mine.  The challenges I face are mine to face.  The mistakes I make are mine to make.  I'm not doing this for you or the masses who might be inspired by my story.  I'm doing it for me.

It won't work any other way.

The day I fail, is the same day I say, "I quit.", and that my friends, will never happen.